The Begining....

So, here it is.. the beginning... been having a rough time lately.. and a good friend of mine suggested I try some blogging... use it like a journal she suggested... a little weary I am but I decided to give it a go... 2008-2009 seemed to be more valleys then hills.. the end of 2009 pretty much tragic.. well to me anyways... the loss of my Grandmother who helped raise me and make me the person I am today passed away. Along with that some very upsetting health news for some members of my husbands family followed... as well as some financial troubles and finishing it all up with yet another death... we were ready to close out 2009.

As I was just telling another friend of mine as we were discussing new years resolutions I have decided to try and work on love and peace for myself... I seem to have some growing issues with loving myself.. I thought about a resolution for losing weight and getting healthy.. but I know that will never come.. if I dont feel that Im worth it... so Im going to work on Liking myself first and hope all the other stuff will work itself out.

I miss my friends... The move here was very hard for me.. and I really dont think anyone understands that.. I think they think Im being selfish or silly... but emotionally it was very hard... I lost my friends... my other grandmother is there.. my house...

But so far.. we have made it... together... still intact... my boys are doing great here.. they love being near their cousins... they are doing great in school.. My husband is enjoying his job and being near his parents... unfortunately there is some bickering going on within the ranks of siblings for him.. but mostly its good... Im the only one who seems to be struggling.. So this year Im hoping for change... for myself... to join the ranks of life again.. smile a little more.. laugh a little more.. not care what people think so much... its hard.. but Im determined... so wish me luck friends... wish me luck!!!